Do you find it challenging to keep your aging parents safe and healthy? Well, you’re not alone. Most people don’t know what exactly to do when caring for aging parents or family members.
It’s often difficult to ascertain what they need, understand the available alternatives, and come to a conclusion.
Concentrating on something specific can help you feel more in control of things.
In this article, we’ve lined-up seven steps to help you turn this vague problem into a more pragmatic and realistic approach: to care for your aging parents in living the remaining bit of their lives happily and in good health.
1. Assess Your Loved One’s Needs
Caring for aging parents can sometimes feel quite overwhelming since you’re often not sure what exactly needs to be done.
To address this issue, take a moment to assess how much assistance your parents need in daily life.
Focus on these eight key aspects:
- Family support
- Medical needs
- Personal hygiene
- Home safety
- Mobility
- Cognitive health
- Meal preparation
- Social interaction
How much assistance do they already get in each area, and how much additional aid do they require to be safe and healthy?
Take note of everything in your caregiving notebook to help you track their needs and determine the exact services required.
For instance, your mom could be having diabetes or cardiac conditions, lives in a somewhat isolated area, and hates doing some chores.
Worse still, you reside across the country, so she’ll require help with medication management, meals, and transportation.
To support her needs, you may opt to hire a driver for her doctor’s appointments and errands, plan grocery or meal deliveries, and hire an in-home caregiver to prepare her meals and ensure she takes medicine.
2. Consider Your Needs Too
Everyone is in a distinct stage of life.
Before assuming that you can take care of your parents, stop and think about your condition and abilities. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Are you in perfect health to physically look after someone?
- Does your relationship allow you to spend a lot of time together without causing a lot of conflicts?
- Do you reside close enough to visit as frequently as you need to?
- Do you have the skills to deliver the attention they require?
- Are you eager to learn how to provide such care?
- Would you consider living with them, either in their home or yours?
Everyone would wish their parents to be as safe and healthy as possible. But they may not be the best person to provide the care personally.
By looking after their health and safety and organizing the assistance they require, you’re still that supportive, caring, and loving child.
Keep in mind that it’s prudent to make a prior, honest assessment. This will help you avoid getting stranded in situations that are not sustainable.
You won’t be in a position to help your parents or yourself if you take on too much responsibility. You will end up wearing out emotionally or physically.
3. Engage them in the Process
Losing control of your life is something nobody wants to experience, especially if you already have concerns about losing your independence.
For this reason, you have to make sure your parents are as involved as possible as you plan for their care.
This will help your parents regard you as more of a partner rather than someone who is just butting in and making changes.
In the beginning they are likely to be opposed to the idea, so you will have to have multiple conversations with them.
Try not to enforce the changes quickly, especially if your parents are not in immediate danger. You can try to use a less invasive approach as you start your conversations.
As long as it’s not a situation that requires immediate help, get them accustomed to getting help by concentrating on 1 or 2 critical needs.
After that, you can gradually increase the help until they are getting all the help they require.
4. Know and Understand the Financials
Caring for aging parents and family members costs. You should get an estimate of the future expenses so that you are adequately prepared.
When estimating, look at aspects such as the medical care they’ll require, the potential cost of their living situation, and everyday needs like home safety modifications and caregiving supplies.
Once you determine your parent’s financial standing, you’ll be able to establish if they can meet the care expenses they require or if they need financial assistance.
You can also get help to pay for long-term care from government programs such as Medicaid or other programs.
Consult with a financial planner or an elder law attorney so that they take you through the requirements for qualifying for Medicaid.
5. Don’t Forget About Home Safety Basics
With time, safety hazards in the house add up, increasing the risk for the elderly to trip or fall and hurt themselves.
The best way to make sure your parents remain independent for as long as possible is by preventing accidents.
Simple fixes to make the house safer include:
- Ensuring all floors and walkways are clutter-free.
- Ensure that all appliances are functional and can be reached.
- Ensure that the use of step stools or bending down is minimized.
- Update your lights to ensure switches can be reached quickly and all lights are bright.
- Put additional grab bars in the bathroom and throughout stair railings.
6. Make the Communication Simple
Another factor that will keep your parents secure is the ability to reach others for assistance and simple communication with relatives and friends.
Isolation and loneliness are safety threats and have a severe negative impact on general health.
Therefore, ensure that their phone has easy-to-use features and is easily accessible. For most people, keeping a simple telephone with pre-programmed contacts whenever they venture out more reassuring and easier to reach.
You can also inquire about establishing if they are comfortable with wearing medical alert devices.
7. Explore All the Options Available
Even after breaking down all of the steps, taking care of your parents can still be overwhelming.
Luckily, there are valuable resources and many senior care options you can try out.
- Geriatricians specialize in caring for seniors and have expertise in treating individuals with dementia and different chronic health conditions that mainly affect older people.
- Area Agency on Aging– is the office at the county level that attends to local seniors. This is a perfect starting point since they link you with helpful government programs and local resources.
- Geriatric care managers are consultants who manage or guide you on every aspect of taking care of your parents. Their expertise can save you money, headaches, and time down the road.
- In-home caregiving assistance takes care of seniors in their residents. You can either get them from a home care agency or hire them privately.
- Assisted living communities are handy if your parents can’t stay alone or require around-the-clock care.
Difficult Parents? Set Boundaries
Imposing limits with problematic aging parents can be challenging, particularly if previous boundaries have not been honored.
In other words, it’s never easy to expect parents to accept and adhere to the limits we establish. Therefore, setting the basic rules for calm and courteous visits may initially require utilizing tough love with your seniors.
Many grown children usually shun toxic aging parents. When everyone is well, it’s OK to stay away, and reasons like demanding work, increasing families, and hectic schedules make it easier.
These suggestions can assist anyone coping with a comparable situation with aging parents who have no concept of what the limits are or if they believe they do not apply to them.
- Before visiting, make a strategy. Consider what has to be done and make it your priority.
- Establish basic guidelines and follow them.
- When attempting to have a genuine and meaningful discussion, take a non-threatening attitude. Try to be calm and avoid encouraging previous attitudes or emotions to overpower you.
- You should try to figure out why your parents are unfriendly or abusive. A gentle word of empathy or an invitation to meet and speak about a period of sadness can often be a relief.
- Even though it might be tough to break free from old habits, keep in mind that you are a grown-up. Assure your parents that you are available to assist them whenever they are in need. However, you will not accept rudeness or abuse from them. You have the choice to leave whenever they fail to understand.
Related Questions
1. Is It Necessary To Take Care Of Your Parents In Their Old Age?
Yes, it is necessary to take care of your aging parents. You can do this through caregivers if you do not have the time to see them regularly.
Aside from your schedule, they may assist elderly parents with medical services and tasks and keep them active. Nevertheless, you shouldn’t allow a caretaker to take your position in your elderly parents’ lives—always try as much as possible to be around and provide for their needs.
2. What Happens When You Can No Longer Care For an Elderly Parent?
A home care firm can assist you if you cannot care for your aging parents due to unavoidable situations.
Besides, professional care workers can help reduce the burden of family caring and help elderly parents at home. Senior care management takes into account your loved one’s emotional, physical, and mental well-being.
3. What Is the Responsibility of the Family in the Caring for Aging Parents?
Family caregivers are accountable for locating and acquiring resources to help the senior’s healthcare. The caregiver can also help the elderly relocate to a different care environment, such as an assisted living facility.
4. Who Is Legally Responsible For Caring For Aging Parents?
Constitutionally, certain states (28 in all) have Filial Responsibility Laws in place that require grown up children to support their elderly parents financially.
Virtually most adult children feel responsible for caring for their seniors, but family dynamics and psychiatric disorders may obstruct that moral conscience.
5. Who Is Financially Responsible For Elderly Parents?
Adult children are required by law to provide financial support to their aging parents when they cannot take care of themselves by paying outstanding medical expenditures.